But dirty talk can also be incredibly hot, especially when it gets creative. Sometimes it seems like there are three phrases, tops - especially when you're in the sack and in that I-want-to-do-you-right-this-second frame of mind. Because detailed, creative dirty talk can be a huge turn-on. But the better your guy is at expressing his reasons for love, via snail mail, text, or email, the happier you'll be.ģ. 'I love you,' plain and simple, is a powerful phrase that doesn't need much embroidery. He always credited his voracious reading for his writing skills - this article on Life Hacker backs him up. His writing vividly brings back the summer we road-tripped across the western United States in his dirty Volvo, the smell of Montana forest fires filling the car, that it's like I'm there again. It's not because I miss him, but because the letters themselves were so beautiful. Every now and then, when I'm feeling nostalgic, I take out the ones written by an ex who was a seriously talented writer. I have a sentimental habit of saving all the love letters written by boyfriends past. Remember the play version of Cyrano de Bergerac, the story of the big-nosed courtesan who writes letters to Roxane on behalf of her inarticulate suitor Christian? Roxane falls in love with Christian because of the beauty of his letters, but later, when she finds out that Cyrano has been writing them all along, she realizes that he is her true love. Because love letters, love letters, love letters. 'I don't know, babe!' he said, and kissed me on the head. 'Where do you see us in six months?' I asked after five years of dating. I think I should have taken that bad habit as a sign. I'd always been dismayed by how easily my ex abandoned books (even the most page-turnery things, like Harry Potter). If you investigated our bookshelf, you'd notice bookmarks popping out of half the titles. The armrest of our couch always had a book tented over it. He loved books - he loved buying them, talking about them, and starting them. I watched him apply the same initial energy to tons of projects - most of which he never finished. But after a while his efforts trickled off. Our first year together was the most romantic of my life - constant surprises, elaborate dates, love letters up the wazoo, rose petals leading from the elevator to our apartment door, etc. You can tell a lot about a person by how he reads. Because sticking to a book, even when it's a struggle, shows he's capable of commitment. Truly, though, what he reads matters less than the fact that he does. Of course, if the guy says he loves to read, reads all the time, AND his taste in books overlaps with mine, well, then I swoon. If a guy claims to 'never read,' the fact that he believes that's something worth bragging about is highly suspect - since when is being smart not cool? If he says he loves to read but struggles to find the time, that, on the other hand, is commendably honest. I don't mean to sound like a terrible snob, but the question of what (and whether) a guy reads offers important clues into whether he's boyfriend material or *cough* fuck-buddy material. That response - complete confusion about why I had asked the question - was the one I learned to dread the most. One guy, an ex-football player from Cornell who encouraged me to order a BLT when I told him that I was vegetarian, looked at me like I'd just spit up on the table. I dated guys who read only the Beats, guys who adored Ulysses, guys who would die for George R.R. After a while, I became great at identifying, quickly, if the dude sitting across the table was worth seeing again.Īnswers ran the gambit.

Before meeting my current boyfriend, I went on some really, really dreadful dates.

Facts are like kyptonite to liberas